I traveled with the family recently. We went up to the hills to this beautiful national park with the ultimate optimism to be able to spend some quality time together. This we accomplished very well.
Observing the kids. Watching them together. Seeing them explore. Looking at them eat. Savoring each moment. Strangely, it was on this trip that I realized how raising a boy (and he is 6 years old) is so unique as opposed to raising a girl.
I say, raising a boy is not for the frail hearted! Here are the 11 Things That I Discovered About Raising A Boy !!
1. They are always moving!
I don’t think this is just my boy. I think this is the case with all boys! I have seen a lot of girls sitting (this is when I realized it just isn’t a word in the dictionary) for a full length of 30-40 minutes. I am struggling to reach 5 minutes on a few days! Raising a boy had me believing ‘sitting’ is a myth for kids! The scene is my home usually reflects a circus with my older one flying off from the walls and my little one in tandem.
2. When they aren’t moving they are eating!
I need to invent a biryani patch that I can attach on his arm so that I don’t hear him sniffing around the kitchen at 6 am in the morning! His favourite show happens to be Master Chef Junoir! Life for boys is very simple. It goes like this: Eat. Poop. Sleep.
3. Know something is wrong when they don’t talk.
All up to this point I believed silence is good. But being a boy’s mom taught me different.
Raising a boy means you must understand that he wont’ talk. And then, he just won’t talk! The first rule that I go by is that if he is leaping vertically up in the air or rolling like a zorb ball, he is fine. If he’s yelling, that’s ok too.But quiet, quiet means he needs attention.
4. Boys Love Sticks And Stones
Most of my parenting ( the moments when I am not screaming through closed bathroom doors to put the seat up and pee) involves walking from room to room tiding his collections. There are so many of those. Twigs. Stones. The twigs from the garden. The twigs from the friends garden. The large stones. Small stones. Round stones. Oval stones. Things which would normally go in the trash somehow, make their way to his room! I am not exaggerating but during the security check at the airport, what emerged from my son’s backpack were stones and more stones (all the souvenirs from a nature walk we took!) Poor thing, he made his way to boarding in tears.
5. Boys Will Take Risks.
I wish I could put him in a bubble (ha though I did put him in a bubble for some fun!)
But seriously, with him I have had to run to the ER more than a couple of times!
Boys are just more feisty and physically more fearless than their sisters. In fact where girls may tend to underestimate their physical capabilities, boys overestimate it all the time. They think of themselves as avatars of the great Shazam himself! They are more drawn towards all kinds of furniture acrobats, jumps and leaps. As a result of raising a boy, my first aid kid is always up-to-date and at hand 24*7!
As a boy mom what I also am doing (and I know there is no other way than this) is teaching him risk assessment. This, hopefully, will help him make better judgement calls and I won’t see blood.
6. They need lots more clothes than girls!
No I’m not crazy when I say this! If you are a boy mom you will absolutely agree.
I feel sorry for my son’s clothes. The amount of abuse my son’s clothes go through is heart wrenching! Between the stains, the blood and the holes, the clothes wear out so easily! So while a boy’s wardrobe may comprise of only shorts, jeans and shirts, well the number of times a boy mom has to shop are far more I would say!
7. Cars, Superheroes and Legos Go Everywhere with them!
For our 8 day vacation to the hills, my son packed his Hulk, his Batman, his Hot Wheels, his Legos and a single book (for my sake he said). So when he wasn’t playing with a pile of stones or empty Pringle boxes (here’s how we used the empty Pringle Boxes) he would be huddled in some corner with his toys waging war on some make belief enemies!
8. They Don’t Like Crowds
My daughter thrives off a crowd. I am a peoples person too. However, I see my husband in my son. He doesn’t like crowds and usually walks away to occupy himself independently or crawl under tables. That’s just the way my son is and no matter how much I try, I can’t change it.
9. They Like Hugs!
When he say’s “Mamma will you play with me” it means he wants me in his life. My son doesn’t verbalize or express himself to me well. But like is 2 year old sister, he will have his melt downs and resort to tears just the same. At times like this, I know he needs to be held. He needs a kiss from me to wake him up for school each morning. So I do spend a lot of time hugging my son. He likes it as do I. Raising a boy doesn’t mean you abandon physical affection.
10.Bedtime is so important.
Because he is always moving, I can never get him still unless he is in bed. The few minutes before he falls off to sleep are the most precious few moments for me. It’s the time he wants to tell me about his day, the significant and the not-so significant occurrences and most importantly, just talk. These few moments can very important to raising a boy. It is, I feel, the only time for counsel and introspection.
11. Super Man will always live!
My son is obsessed with Super Man. He believes in his magic. In his ability to save the world. His humility. As a boy mom, I know that this is not him acting out. It is through this character that he sees the world. He wants to be like him, have similar powers and is equating his identity as a parallel. So while this may really annoys me, I am trying gradually to make him believe in his own strength, his own virtues and his own qualities without the need to emulate.