This wonderful guest post was shared with us by a wonderful fellow Mom Blogger who blogs www.aboutparentandkid.com
Why My Daughter’s Grades Don’t Matter
It is the season of results. I have been reading in the newspapers and also hearing from people around me discussing about children scoring high marks in board exams since a few years. There is also a debate surrounding the results as every board is in fierce competition with the other with respect to awarding more exam grades than the other so that children secure seats in the top colleges of the world. This might be true to some extent but I also believe that children today are so much more focused.
The environment in which they are growing is so progressive. They are exposed to the new age technology and the new world so they have many more insightful experiences than what we used to have as children. They have their likes and dislikes sorted. They have prompt answers and sometimes valid arguments also to support their views. So when they are privy to so much, the role of the parent becomes even more critical and demanding so as to provide them with the best of opportunities and guidance to make them better human beings.
Here I would love to share my own parenting experiences while raising my daughter. I remember very well it was when she was only 4 years old when she developed liking for sketching. It was a lazy afternoon and I was watching the television while my daughter was colouring in the large size jumbo book (or that is what I thought as my attention was in watching the television) . When I did happen to divert my attention towards her, I found that she was trying to draw the picture of the mermaid instead of colouring it. That was the first time I experienced her interest in sketching. She would keep sketching for hours together. Now she is 8 years old and her love for art continues. She always says she wants to become an artist. I do not know if she will choose that field but I surely know that I need to encourage her and motivate her.
So I keep encouraging her by sharing her work on social media as she loves to see that others appreciate her work apart from her family members. Some might think that I do it with a sense of pride or to show off but the truth is that it motivates her a lot.
Another thing I make sure is I do not pressurise her to focus on her grades at school. I am only conscious that she is attentive in the class and is clear about the concepts. If she isn’t, I make sure she practices and is well versed with them. It absolutely doesn’t matter to me what her grades say. Whether she scores an A+ in the said subject.
This year when her results were declared she didn’t score an A+ in art even though she loves it to the core and is very good at it. So for a split second it definitely affected my belief in her but then I immediately regained from it and didn’t point it out to her that she hasn’t aced the subject she loves the most. I do not want to create a pressure on her to improve her grade and lose out on developing her creativity. She might have had completely different ideas about the drawings the teacher must have asked her to do which didn’t match with the grading procedure.
I have also observed that you could be anywhere in the world, and if you ask a child to draw a landscape you will see triangle mountains, sun, a river and few flowers in the drawing. This is how the minds are conditioned. I do not want my daughter to limit her creativity like this. For me if she has painted the mountains blue it is completely fine and this I have learnt from my experience as a teacher. I have had the experience of working in an IB school where the child’s creativity and thought process is given the utmost importance and I try and imbibe all my learning as a teacher while raising my daughter.
Another quality that I want my daughter to imbibe is self discipline. So I got her to learn swimming at the age of 3 as she loved water as a toddler. Surprisingly she was very comfortable after a week’s class and now she is into competitive coaching. Again its two years since she started competitive coaching but she hasn’t won a single medal for herself yet she loves to be part of competitions and cheer for her friends, who are also her competitors. And when she is part of the relay team and they will a medal for the team, her excitement is much more than the disappointment of losing an individual medal. This is what she has learnt being a swimmer and it is more important for me that she is compassionate, believes in healthy competition and is a team player. Sometimes in search of end result we forget the process. The process of learning swimming has taught my daughter to be disciplined, independent, learn to accept failures and still strive hard for success. I think if my daughter becomes an independent and confident person when she grows up, I have done things right while raising her. I am sure success will follow eventually if she is a good human being.
Parenting is challenging and all parents fumble. I lose my patience many times too and have made many parenting mistakes. But I have observed lately that my daughter studies my behaviour and is learning by observing me so I am trying to control my extreme emotions in her presence.
As parents we have aspirations and dreams for our children but I feel we should not limit our child’s potential in order to make sure they achieve our dreams. Who knows they might have even bigger dreams for themselves and will make us very proud some day!
Please do share your views and parenting experiences. We learn from each other.
Aesha Shah – Mother, Blogger, Explorer, and a voracious reader are just some of the different facets of the enterprising force behind About Parent and Kid, a website designed for parents seeking to understand , enjoy , interact & address the challenges of parenthood at all stages thus making it an inclusive platform. Aesha started her blogging journey writing for various parenting platforms. Powered with the MCom and B.Ed, she is the prevailing Sub Editor at My Paper, a children newspaper which aims at nurturing reading as a passion – something that Aesha herself strongly advocates.
🙂 thank god my parents had the same thought pattern or I wouldnt have been a designer today 🙂
I love your post! As, Arshad said my parents also thought in the same lines and I too think the same!
I just wish more parents can be broad minded!
I feel too many kids are pressurised these days!
I think many kids are under pressure these days to score good marks in exams. Parents need to broadminded .
let kids be kids and choose what they want. however as aparents we always and must guide them to the correct path 🙂
It’s important that we focus on them more than grades!! That’s a great thought ! M sure you are parenting your kid right
Thanks a lot Manveen for hosting About Parent And Kid on Mother- O-Pedia. I am glad I could share my parenting experiences with all your readers.
i share the same ideology raise them with their lead ….formal schooling should not be a burden
I really dont wish for babyT to go through the same pressures that we did. Such a thought provoking post.
Brilliant write up. We don’t want our kids to lose their childhood innocence and fun time under the pressure of unnecessary grade system. Thank you for sharing this with us. 😀
I really liked and also appreciate Blogger Aesha Shahs comments and write up on good parenting by Manveen l wholeheartedly concur with what she thinks about good parentingl feel that is how it should beespecially her comment saying” Sometimesin search of end result we foget the process very true indeed and very well said
Now futhermore looking at the paintings poted and done by a young kid, her 8 yearold daughter (whose name is probably not mentioned) l couldn’t resist myself but to appreciate the young kid’s efforts One needs a lot of lmagination common sense and perseverance to create such good paintingsThe calibre of the paintings is impressive It seems she is another Hussain in the making She doesnt look to be amateurish l for one have become her fan l wish her well for a great future whether it be painting or anything else
I think blogger Aesha Shah is very sensible and forceful in her writtings l appreciate her for her views Surely she is very sensible in her writtings kudos to her and Manveen for great Blogging
True! Parents should not burden their kids with result oriented competitions, rather we should teach them process oriented life skills through their achievements and talents!
What a lovely post – it’s so hard to not let our dreams become their dreams. However school marks is just one aspect of a child and they have a multitude of talents that need developing.
Excellent read and I completely completely agree to this!! I don’t want to limit my child’s imagination too like how she beautifully put it 🙂 thanks for sharing Manveen
This is such a lovely post!! I too wish to raise my daughter in an environment where she is free to decide what she wants to do!
One of my sons has been slower to catch up with his speech milestone but he can read and pronounce fat words like pterodactylus and elasmolasaurus. Somewhere we really need to appreciate the good things and let them learn more about themselves
Loved this post. And I agree to every single word written.
this is just one aspect of parenting and such a machured thought i wish we have many parents thinking like that !!!!
Loved the article!!!