How ‘ Working Mom Guilt’ Ruins Lives!
At this very moment, while I type this blog, my husband has taken his parents and the kids on a vacation to a beach. I couldn’t join them. Deadlines beckoned.
Am I missing them? That’s a question I won’t even answer!
Do I feel guilty? NO.
It was really tough to do it. I spent a lot of time being torn. It became a constant companion until one day I realized that I didn’t have children in order to spend my life feeling forever inadequate. I wanted children to enrich my life, not enslave my conscience.
But I have done it because as far as possible, one of the parents is always with the kids.
An antidote to this ‘Working Mom Guilt’ has been my husband.
In this world of feminism, not matter how much we educated our girls, we must remember that the other half is still men.
Equally feminist men must exist, and they must better the world for women. He’s done it for me.
My family has been the scaffolding of my career.
While I’ve had to work, the dad has taken them to birthday parties.
While I may need to complete an article, dad’s been there to cook.
While I’ve been held at a meeting, dad’s been there to pick them up at the stop.
Why You Should Give Up The Working Mom Guilt?
Because you are lucky
I can work because I have a wonderful husband who supports me, understanding children and a very efficient nanny. Can I say I don’t experience mom guilt because I’m lucky. Hell yes, I am!
Because your kids are watching
Our kids learn a lot about women, gender, and the relationship between the sexes within their own families. Your method for dividing up household duties, the way you talk to your partner, and the way you talk about yourself inform your son’s personal philosophies. If you are always going to feel guilty about your role as a working parent, the gender duties are going to be polarized.
Because you love what you are doing
I do what I love. It’s interesting. It’s challenging. It’s creative. It’s something that gives me an outlet. I love getting ready and going to work. Sipping that coffee from Starbucks on my way out. Chatting up with colleagues about Twinkle Khanna holidaying in Paris without her family!! It’s fine to enjoy these simple pleasures that working life gives you.
Because you will always make time for the family
When the mom guilt gets too enlarged, I take the day off from work, wait for the kids to get back from school and put all the screens away! We shelve our schedules, go to the park, take a swim at the club and have loads of fun. If you can’t catch a full day, whatever time you do get, put your phone, laptop and the zillion other seemingly important things aside and just try to have some fun!
A mother needs a very strong support system to live her dreams . But I guess fathers need that too. However it is always assumed that fathers will get it, like it’s a nature thing , a birth right that men have but women have to feel lucky if they get it from their family. Women need to stop feeling guilty and be the change to bring a change in the society. Very well written article Manveen.
I felt guilty for the longest time ever. I’ve finally learnt my way around.
Moms and guilt for many things go hand in hand but choosing a career and to continue with it should definitely not be in the list of being guilty….I loved your writing in this topic….
Have always had this guilt seeing whether i am spending time with my daughter..so i ensure i am there for her small things like getting her ready to school and ensuring that i drop her so that i get some time talking to her about her school
Moms in any situation has these feelings. Working and non Working. BEcause of such issue I left my office job 7 years back. I love reading your post.
thats a very valid point you make here, but i dont think i can ever get over that!! AAAH.. mommy guilt!
The word mother has the strings of strength attached. She can overcome anything but yes all she needs little support and love from the family. Loved reading this post…
To continue with your career after having kids is not as easy as it sounds. Your blog gives hope to many, I wish for others to have motivation from you and get the strength that it requires .
SO agree. And Parenting is not just a mother’s job. The father plays a big role too. So why cant the mother also follow her own interests and aspirations too.
Working Moms can feel guilty at times but its ok.Its always a good idea to involve husband in household duties.
I could very well connect to it and Yes this is high time we should come out of that guilt. I am a working mom and daily i used to struggle with my emotions after my 1st child happened but now with the 2nd call me more matured or what i do not have any guilt. I know what i am doing and why.
Wonderful post. I wish more and more women read and understand this. Till the time we get rid of this guilt, we can deal with the world which is ever ready to worsen our case.
Well said. Working mom guilt is the worst one which kills the beauty of motherhood. Anyone who get over that will really be gifted.
Being a mompreneur myself today, I can strongly say that it is the support of our family and loving kids that we are successful. I know at times we feel guilty but that’s okay. It fades when we see our family enjoying and respecting us.
I dont think working moms should ever feel guilty because the kids are watching and they see how parents are working hard. And they learn from us. Great going 🙂
Beautifully said. whether working or SAHM, we have enough things to handle and with a helpful partner alone can we succeed
the guilt won exists if you have a strong support system but sadly not in all cases support is something which lacks
Well yes !! Guilt hits all the time! I can so relate to this
I can totally relate myself to this. In my case guilt takes over Everytime. 80% of the times, I am the only one who is handling my child.
I love your post. And I completely agree with what you say. In my case its my mother in law who goes that extra mile to let me do what I love.