5 Things That Damage My Relationship With My Kids
Ironically, every night when I watch the kids in bed a list of things I had to do with them and couldn’t, pops up in my head. On most regular days when I sit back and size up the amount of time I have spent with them I can tab a large number of hours. But yet, there is that unsaid word, the unshared hug, the unresolved problem from yesterday, the unsaid story. It felt like my relationship with them was under the preoccupation of so many other things.
When I pitched this to the Mr. he suggested I bid for a 30 hour day! If I could I really would! But obviously I couldn’t. So we talked and worked out on avoiding some of those things that are contributors to keeping me away from my kids.
1. Mobiles: An unaccountable part of my time is being spent on phones. A little when the kids are around and a larger part when they are not around. There are always work associates, my family, my friends and the entire clan to catch up with while the kids are away at school. But this is also the time that I can catch up with on my kids. Reflect back on them. Think about them. Think about their issues or introspect on their needs.
2. My laptop: I spend a huge part of my time on google. Lots of time to research and other times to search for meaningless things that I just want to see because an awesome sales promotion offer dropped in on my email. If I don’t need it why am I looking?
3. Social Media: Guilty!! It is my work. But that’s what the focus needs to be on. It is fun commenting on and enjoying the happy moments of friends and family. But I cannot do this at the cost of the kids. It creates a series of thoughts that can absolutely be avoided.
4. Work: How can I not work?? Who will pay the bills. Yet there is this time of the day when I must close my office. Come back in body and mind to the kids. I must also ask myself, if the bills are being paid for sufficiently why am I pushing for more? The kids are not asking for it. Perhaps it is my own need for self-gratification.
5. Social Events: THIS!! The planning, the organizing, the sourcing, the hangover of brunches, parties, lunches; all of it! It overworks me. It pushes my mind to shift focus away from my kids and steers my thoughts into different directions. So though I must socialize, I need to slower the pace. Space out the outings and keep my thoughts and energy for those little people who are dependent on me.