Kids Must Hug Or Kiss As A Mark Of Politeness
When a mom posted this about her daughter, I really wasn’t sure what to think about it except that it sounded like my son.
image source:bored panda
This meme, saying that children shouldn’t be forced to hug or kiss people they don’t want to went viral a few months ago. It also upset many. I myself have been privy to this disdainful act in the past (hugely under societal pressures) leaving my son feeling very uncomfortable. Asking my kids to hug or kiss elders as a greeting came naturally to me. Weren’t we all as children asked to do the same when we were younger? Of course we were!
Today, things are far different. With the internet splashed with cases of child abuse, child molestation, rapes and so much more, I don’t think it’s an unreasonable thing to respect the boundaries your child is setting up for himself. Often times I’ve heard myself telling my children that they never have to be touched if he/she feels uncomfortable — family or otherwise. So how can I force them to expressing affection by extorting hugs.
While there are a lot of people being critical about this meme and labeling such strongly opinionated kids as the harbingers of disrespect towards elders, there is another league of people who believe that kids are great judges of character and if they don’t want someone hugging or touching them, so be it!
At the age of five, or thereabouts, children need a lot of hugs. These should come mostly from their parents & maybe siblings, or other very close family members, with the agreement of both parents. Same goes for kisses. Strangers don’t need hugs or kisses. Children should be able to refuse to hug or kiss anyone they don’t want to and they should definitely refuse any such attention when away from parents or in other rooms!
So we’ve come to decide that we can hug and kiss as greeting, and we do likewise upon departure, but we must remember not to make this a ‘forced’ thing in our homes. Refusing a hug cannot be equated with bad manners or bad behavior. So if one of my kids don’t want to hug or kiss, touching the feet of elders or a polite hand folded ‘namaste’ works equally well.
I agree. Kids should not be forced to hug or kiss if they want to. As a kid, I was never been told to do any such thing. But a polite namaste was enough or say was required. With time namaste has changed to “Hi” or “Hello”which is also not wrong.
So with parents like us, maybe things in the ‘greeting’ aspect will evolve.
It is always weird we hen someone forces a kids to give them a hug.
Totally. And then we preach privacy.
I agree with you. You cannot force your kids into doing something.
There are so many alternate ways to express politeness and love.
True. Kids should be given freedom to greet their elders the way they like. If a child does not like kissing or hugging , it’s perfectly fine. Namaste is a great way of giving respect to elders.
Yes true kids should be given freedom and shall never be formed to hug and kiss. Their no should be respected.
Namaste or touching the feet works so well in our culture right?
I completely concur. I never force my kids to hug or kiss. I just ask them to say a namaste or hello, that’s being polite but nothing else.
Sometimes they say and sometimes they don’t. Which is fine because They are kids. ❤️❤️
Wonderful post and much needed
Thanks Veena. Slowly and hopefully, everyone will get more accepting of this.
Its an interesting topic really. Kids always want to do the things what they like. No force can change their manner. So never force them to do anything. But also keep an eye on them. Nice post
I would agree. As parents, being vigilant comes naturally.
I totally agree to this. When I talk to my daughters or my students about appropriate vs. inappropriate touch, I always make sure to make them realize that comfort is a matter of personal choice. While someone’s hug might make you make comfortable there might be few who might make you feel uncomfortable with their touch. Kids MUST learn to say NO if they are uncomfortable no matter how good or bad the intention of the other person may be.
I agree withthe post. No one should force kids for hugs and kiss. After all we teach them bad touch etc and then our own family members does it. Kids gets confuse.
Absolutely. In order to appease our elders, we insist on our kids hugging/kissing thereby giving conflicting thoughts.
this post is so interesting to me, i think that no one have to force someone to hug or kiss other people, above all if the subject are children!
I totally Agree!! We should not enforce anything on them !